Nov 242009

Are you stuck? Are you at a loss for how to become un-stuck?

Here’s what I mean by “stuck.”

Stuck is where you are when you feel you don’t know what stuckto do next or now. Perhaps you are stuck in a bad or unsatisfying job. Maybe you are stuck in a less than fulfilling relationship. Or, you could be stuck and unable to start that book. You might be stuck hanging around the same underachievers or negative people day after day. Sometimes we get stuck in bad habits – overeating, smoking, excessive drinking, out of control anger, laziness, wasting time, lack of focus, spending time on worthless endeavors, negative thinking, and on and on.

Being stuck reflects your results. Your results are a reflection of how you feel about yourself. Your results reflect what you have done up to now. Your results reflect how you act. Your results reflect who you allow to influence you.

Often, being stuck reflects the habit of saying, “I’ll get to it later” to just about anything and everything that would move you closer to your goals.

Stuck happens.

You know how stuck feels. You are not happy with your situation. You know it could be better. I’ll bet you even tried to make it better.


Let me share with you that being stuck is where you are when you have not passionately embraced your dreams and goals. Being stuck is like standing on the side of the pool and constantly sticking your toe in the water, but never jumping in. Being passionate about your life is like sprinting toward the pool and doing a big belly-flop right into the middle of the water. A pool exists so that you can get immersed and have fun. A life exists for the same reasons.

You might be stuck in a passionless gray world because you were raised to believe that passion is bad. Perhaps your friends make fun of anyone who is enthusiastic about life. (This was certainly true for me in my early years.) Maybe you want to avoid embarrassment.

Being stuck is where you are when you fail to value every second of every minute of every day of the time you have available to you.

Another example of being stuck is when you find yourself doing the same thing over and over, but expecting different results. (That’s also known as insanity.)

Happy and fulfilled people are not stuck.

In fact, let me flip the script. Once you un-stick yourself, your happiness and level of personal and professional achievement will accelerate.

Being stuck is not an option when you have just one life to live on this earth.
The time to get unstuck is right now. Not later today. Not tonight. Not tomorrow. Get unstuck right now.

How do you become unstuck?


You make a decision. You make the decision that you will not waste another minute of your life not making progress towards your life goals. Your decision must be coupled with a change of thinking.

Change how you think. Change how you speak. Change how you act.

Your future is not a result of random decisions made. Your future is a specific place that is created first in your mind and then it is created in your actions. The future is not where you go. Your future is the place you create.” ~ Darryl L. Mobley


You change your thinking and your actions and your speaking by asking yourself better questions.

Here are some questions that can get you unstuck and moving towards your highest place.

  • How can I do it differently, smarter, and faster?
  • How many ways can I get unstuck? (Develop a list. Now!)
  • What would I do if I did know what to do?
  • What do I want to accomplish before I leave this life?
  • What kind of relationship would I like to have with my mate?
  • What do I want to do in my life?
  • What do I want to own that I don’t own?
  • How great do I want to be?
  • What would I do if I didn’t care what anyone thought?
  • What would I do if I knew my parents would never find out?
  • What would I do if I knew I could not fail?

    My friend Les Brown told me the story of how after he had a failure in his life he pulled over and just parked his life. He got stuck wallowing in the disappointment he had experienced. He finally asked himself the right questions and got unstuck. Know this: You have to get your life out of park and into drive.


    I have found that the best way for me to get better results is to ask others for input. But wait! The key to you asking for help is to ask the right people for input. Don’t ask those who are also stuck. Don’t ask perennial losers. (Hey! Most people who are stuck hang around people who accomplish little.) I am always amazed at the women who come to me for coaching on getting their relationship on solid ground or getting into a great relationship — who have been getting advice from their female friends who are not, or never have been, in a great relationship! That’s just stupid. Don’t ask advice of people who have not succeeded in the area you wish to succeed in.

    The best people to ask are those who have achieved what you wish to achieve. (Side comment: I have found that the people who have achieved what I want to achieve are almost overwhelmingly willing to give me advice that I can use.) Ask them what they do to achieve the success they have. Whatever the area of achievement – losing and maintaining healthy weight, saving money, effective parenting, writing a book, changing jobs, getting into a great relationship, getting promoted, setting & achieving goals, improved health, enhanced romance, and so on – you can find those who are where you want to be.

    I have taken the opportunity over the years to get advice from Les Brown, Wally Amos, Zig Ziglar, Raleigh Pinskey, Dr. Joyce Morley-Ball, Dr. Dennis Kimbro, Army Generals, Olympic Athletes, top entrepreneurs, John Pepper, Al Dunlap, Bob McDonald and other CEOs of Fortune 100 firms. I was just stupid enough to call up these folks out of the blue and ask them for input. They all gave me tons of great advice, for free! Who can you call or write, asking for advice? Do it now.


    You will remain stuck as long as your network is full of the happily stuck or those with negative attitudes. Get out of the crab barrel, now! (A personal insight: If they aren’t positive, they are not in my life!)


    yeah but
    When we say “yeah” (or “yes”) we move toward our highest being. When we follow “yeah” with “but,” we place a sticky, magnetic goo on our shoes that stops us from moving forward toward our passion-filled best life. Saying “yeah, but” is a horrendous habit. Maximize your enthusiasm and lose your fear of the giant you were put here to become. When you do this you will overwhelm “yeah, but” and make “yes!” the core of your being.

    All winners are “yes!” people.

    All your life you are told the things you cannot do. All your life they will say you’re not good enough or strong enough or talented enough; they will say you’re the wrong height or the wrong weight or the wrong type to play this or be this or achieve this. THEY WILL TELL YOU NO….and you will tell them yes.” ~ Nike commercial


    You were put here on this earth to live your best life. You were put here to do something special — to leave your unique mark.

      Get unstuck now!

    Make the decision now to design and live the life you dream of.

    Remember – You DO Deserve To Live A Great Life!

    Enjoy Life!

    Darryl L. Mobley
    “The Life Acceleration Coach” and the “Bulldog of Work-Life Balance”

    P.S. – One last tip. Are you fearful of going out after your dream? Deal with it. The only way to develop courage to chase your dreams is to act brave until you feel brave. I call this, “fake it until you make it.”

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    Want To Reprint This Article In Your Magazine, Newsletter, or Online? You can as long as you include the following tag in its entirety: Darryl Mobley, America’s No. 1 Life Coach, is host of the Darryl Mobley Radio Show – Your Life Coach On The Radio ( To get your F.R.E.E. audio download and receive his weekly articles on how to achieve your dreams, be happier, make more money, and live your best life, visit .

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