What To Do When Your
Relationship Is a Disaster
What To Do When Your
Relationship Is a Disaster
So… Your Relationship Sucks?
3 Keys To Having A Great Relationship
by Darryl Mobley
The graveyard of relationships that didn’t work out is vast – crossing all geographies, ages, income levels, and pre-relationship counseling sessions.
There’s no end to the number of therapists who will listen to couples complain about each other ad nauseam – – but the relationships still implode.
It’s devastating when it happens. You put a huge amount of effort into creating a relationship that you hope will be special, only for it to blow-up in your face.
I’ve seen it happen again and again. Normally, folks come to me after they’ve tried therapists. I’m known forbeing blunt, no-nonsense, and 100% focused on getting couples to make the changes that will lead them to relationships that are like heaven-on-earth. (I’m not trying to be your mother. I’m want you to get to a great relationship. Period!)
I’ve Been Asked to Coach Couples Who Are in “Hot-Mess” Relationships
This is fresh in my mind because I’m just coming off of a situation in which I was asked to work with a couple that was a half step from divorce. After speaking with them, I suggested my six-month relationship coaching program.
It’s formally called my “Meet.Like.Love.” Relationship coaching.
We worked for weeks getting clear on the barriers the couple had erected between each other in their relationship.
It was like pulling teeth to get this couple to reveal their relationship habits. Essentially, we had to yank the covers off of more than 10 years of relationship struggles!
That was no small, emotion-free task.
They Thought They Had a Winner…
…because each of them are great as individuals! I’ve met them and they are fabulous. But…
They’d had pre-marriage counseling from their religious advisor. But…
They had the approval of both sets of parents. But…
But alas, shortly after they got married, the relationship took a nosedive from which it had not recovered.
They were both left confused, frustrated, angered, and feeling as if their lives were just eroding away with every unhappy year that passed. No surprise – Their relationship had a negative impact in their children.
Over the years I’ve learned that, sometimes, two people who should be awesome together absolutely flop in trying to create a positive, long-term relationship because of one reason or another. On the other hand, some couples craft relationships that appear to be immediate winners.
So what do you do when your relationship is on the rocks?
Here’s what I’ve learned over the years of successfully coaching hundreds of couples back to healthy relationships, so take notes.
1. Your Relationship Is Probably One Step Away From Being a Winner!
I’ve been invited to work with couples who, at first glance, were going the way of the Titanic. However, after I was able to get them to make just a little shift in their behavior, they suddenly became relationship winners.
Sometimes, all it takes is for one small change to transform a losing relationship into a winner.
2. Don’t Give Up Too Early
When I met with the couple referred to earlier in this article, they told me that I was their last try. The wife described their relationship as a “complete loser.” I told them that if they did what I suggested we could turn this thing around.
They weren’t buying it. At least, not at the beginning of that first meeting. But…
Over the next several weeks I suggested a variety of changes they should make — – in how they communicated… how they responded to each other… how they behaved around their kids… how they interacted with friends… how they engaged in-laws… and so on.
Slowly (by my standards)… Quickly (by theirs) … Their relationship got better. Then, as we built positive momentum, the relationship became a thing of beauty.
If they had given up, we would never have created a winning relationship.
Sometimes all it takes are a few changes to make a relationship successful.
I’m convinced that if you stick with your relationship and keep working on it – doing the right things and making the right changes (and yes – sometimes with the right coach) — that you can turn almost any Titanic-like relationship into heaven on earth.
3. Sacrifice Self for the Team
I teach couples that they must sacrifice self for long-term relationship success. I believe that healthy relationships operate under the rule that when one member wins they both win and when one member loses they both lose. This belief structure is the foundation of lasting relationship success.
Several hundred successful Meet.Like.Love. relationship coaching engagements tell me that I am right.
How I Change Bad Relationships Into Winners
Quite simply: Go to http://www.MeetLikeLove.com.
Read everything on that page. It will help you understand yourself and your relationship.
Enjoy Life!
Darryl L. Mobley
Creator of the Meet.Like.Love. Relationship Mastermind Group
America’s Life Coach
“One of the best life coaches on the planet!”