Are you a lover or a fighter? Is your relationship heaven-on-earth or a living hell? Take Darryl Mobley’s Lover or Fighter 20 Question Quiz below and find out.

1. Have you ever become so upset with your significant other that you became violent?

2. Have most of your past relationships been filled with conflict?

3. Do you get into an argument with your significant other at least once a week?

4. Have any of your relationships ever ended because of your mood, anger, or temper?

5. Have you ever said to, or done things with, your significant other, in anger that you came to regret?

6. Do you have a difficult time expressing remorse when you have made a mistake?

7. Do you believe that your relationship is more interesting because of the constant conflict?

Get The Love You Deserve! Attend my online/by phone seminar. CLICK HERE now for more info.

8. Do you believe that getting into regular fights with your significant other just shows that you really care?

9. Do you have fights with your significant other and often can’t remember what you are fighting about?

10. Do you find yourself waiting for your significant other to piss you off again?

11. As far as your relationships go, do you believe – and live by – the adage that “opposites attract”?

12. Are you often asked to ‘calm down’?

13. Do other people say that you are stubborn?

14. Have you been told more than once that you ‘fly off the handle’ or have a bad temper?

15. Do you think that fighting with your significant other is okay as long as it does not become physical?

16. Were your parents generally argumentative, sullen, spiteful, nitpicky, or negative with each other?

Get The Love You Deserve! Attend my online/by phone seminar. CLICK HERE now for more info.

17. Are you an alcoholic?

18. Have you ever withheld intimacy to punish your significant other?

19. Have you ever gotten really angry with your significant other when they have arrived late for dinner with you because of an emergency at work?

20. Have you ever lived with an alcoholic?

Get The Love You Deserve! Attend my online/by phone seminar. CLICK HERE now for more info.

There is no magic score with my Lover or Fighter 20 question quiz. However, generally speaking, your relationship is not near blissful if you answered, “yes” to more than a very, very few of my 20 quiz questions. I believe in the primacy of a peaceful, loving relationship. If you would rather be a lover than a fighter in your relationship, get focused on replacing the bad habits as evinced by your “yes” answers by CLICKING HERE.

©2011 Mobley Trainings. All rights reserved.

After you click SUBMIT, look in your email inbox for important information from Darryl.

Coupled, Married, and Single Men and Women:

Are You Ready to Have The Relationship You’ve Always Dreamed Of…
NO Arguing,
NO Bad Feelings,
NO Cheating,
NO Nagging, and. . . (wait for it)
GREAT INTIMACY?

48. Tell Mom that you love her. This seemingly small act will have the biggest impact on dear old Mom.

There you have it. Forty-eight ways to show your love. And who knows? With any luck, she might return the favor!

Feel free to send me your suggestions to add to my list. Send to: Mom@CoachMobley.com .

Remember – You DO deserve to live a great life.

Enjoy Life!

Darryl L. Mobley

About Darryl L. Mobley
For coaching, you may email Darryl at Info@CoachMobley.com. Known as the “Bulldog of Work-Life Balance,” Darryl Mobley is a top Life Coach, an in-demand Executive Coach, a Business-Growth Consultant, a Professional Speaker, and host of The Darryl Mobley Show: Your Life Coach On The Radio. For info, visit www.CoachMobley.com . Darryl is also president of the Association of Small Business Marketers. For info, visit www.BusinessGrowthAce.com . © 2010 Darryl L. Mobley

WANT TO REPRINT THIS COLUMN IN YOUR MAGAZINE OR NEWSLETTER? You may as long as you reprint the entire column above plus the ABOUT DARRYL paragraph above.

That’s Darryl’s Bulldog puppy in the photo. He brings it to the office all the time. It has nothing to do with this show. We just think it’s cute!

You Get One Life. Live It!
By Darryl L. Mobley

As I spoke with my children on how best to reach their goals in sports and academics, I was reminded of my story of the pet store and the squirrel monkey. (I actually had squirrel monkeys for pets when I was a teenager. My mother decided to feed them scrambled eggs and bacon. What happened next would bring a tear to your eyes. But that’s another story for another time!)

I thought I would share my story with you.

A man was walking downtown and passed a pet store. As he looked in the pet store window he saw a large cage filled with some really cute squirrel monkeys. Like me, he had always liked monkeys and so he went into the pet store.

As he looked at the five little squirrel monkeys he noticed the price tags on the front of the cage. $75. $75. $75. $75. And then, $500.

He was intrigued by the large price for one of the squirrel monkeys – even though they all looked exactly the same to him.

He asked the pet store sales clerk why one of the squirrel monkeys was priced at $500. The sales clerk told him that that particular squirrel monkey could talk. So, of course it was a bit more expensive than the other “regular” squirrel monkeys.

The man was excited and told the sales clerk that he wanted to buy that talking squirrel monkey right away. The man paid for the talking squirrel monkey, purchased an expensive monkey cage, and took it all home.

The next day the man returned to the pet store, found the sales clerk and told him that the squirrel monkey had not talked.

A Multicolored Ball?

The sales clerk asked the man, “Have you given the squirrel monkey a multicolored bouncing ball? He loves to play with the ball. The happier he is, the more he talks.”

The man said, “I don’t have a multicolored bouncing ball. Can I buy one from you?”

The sales clerk said, “I have one right here that I can sell to you for $21.95.”
The man grabbed the ball, paid the clerk and took off back home.

The next day the man again returned to the pet store, found the sales clerk and told him that the squirrel monkey still had not talked.

Shiny Silver Chair

The sales clerk asked the man, “Have you read to him from his favorite book, ‘Planet of the Squirrel Monkeys’? It’s a special edition with very nice colored photos and a hand-written note from the author. The talking squirrel monkey loves that book and discusses it after every reading.”

The exasperated man said, “I don’t have the ‘Planet of the Squirrel Monkeys’ book. Can I buy one from you?”

The sales clerk said, “I have the one I read to the talking squirrel monkey right here. It’s my only copy. But, I can sell to you for just $84.95. These books are very rare.”

The man glared at the sales clerk. But, he took the book, paid the clerk and hustled out the door to go back home.

The very next day the man burst though the door of the pet store, saw the sales clerk and yelled that the squirrel monkey still had not talked.

The sales clerk asked the man, “Is the talking squirrel monkey sitting in his shiny silver rocking chair? He just talks up a blue streak whenever he gets to rock in his shiny silver chair. I have the very chair he used to sit in right here for just $395.”

The man was furious but he really wanted to see just how far this sales clerk was going to take this talking monkey tale. So he grabbed the offered shiny silver chair, signed the credit card charge slip and sped out the door.

Talk, Talk, Talk…

The next day the man – looking depressed – walked slowly back into the pet store carrying the multicolored bouncing ball, the special edition ‘Star Monkeys’ book, and the shiny silver rocking chair.

The sales clerk saw him and asked, “What’s going on? Didn’t the talking squirrel monkey like playing with the multicolored bouncing ball? Didn’t he like it when you read to him his ‘Planet of the Squirrel Monkeys’ book? And didn’t he enjoy his shiny silver rocking chair?”

The man said that, “Yes. The talking squirrel monkey loved playing with the bouncing multicolored ball. He also really seemed to like the special edition ‘Planet of the Squirrel Monkeys’ book when I read it to him. He even perked up when I gave him the shiny silver rocking chair. In fact, the minute I put the rocking chair into the cage with him, he put the multicolored bouncing ball down, closed the special edition ‘Planet of the Squirrel Monkeys’ book, sat in the shiny silver rocking chair and began rocking. He then slumped forward with tears running down his hairy little face – and before he passed away – the talking squirrel monkey said to me, “Don’t they sell squirrel monkey food at the pet store?”

What’s the message in this little story? (You knew that I had one!)

The message is to make sure that you are focused on the right things when you are trying to achieve your goals. It doesn’t matter what your goals are – health, business, family, education, relationships, parenting, career — whatever!

Make sure that you are spending your time and money and energies on things that really matter.

Don’t Be Seduced!

Don’t be seduced by the shiny, sparkling things that most often will NOT help you, your children, or your family — achieve your dreams. These things are dream-stealers.

You and those you love must master the fundamentals.

One of my football coaches from back in the day told me that the teams that win most often are the teams that do the best job of blocking and tackling.

My college basketball coach told me that the teams that win most often are the teams that do the best job of rebounding and shooting free throws.

My college volleyball coach told me that the teams that win most often are the teams that do the best job of serving and setting the ball.

Check it out. They were so very right. The seemingly most basic things have the biggest impact on success or failure.

Blocking, tackling, rebounding, free throw shooting, serving and setting are not very sexy. But they are essential if you want to win. Being great at them requires focus and hard work.

Are you spending your time, effort, and money on those things that mean success?

What are you doing with your time and energies?

Remember – You DO deserve to live a great life.

Enjoy Life!

About Darryl L. Mobley
You may email Darryl at Info@CoachMobley.com. Known as the “Bulldog of Work-Life Balance,” Darryl Mobley is a top Life Coach, an in-demand Executive Coach, a Business-Growth Consultant, a Professional Speaker, and host of The Darryl Mobley Show: Your Life Coach On The Radio. For info, visit www.CoachMobley.com. Darryl is also president of the Association of Small Business Marketers. For info, visit www.BusinessGrowthAce.com. © 2010 Darryl L. Mobley

Want To Use This Article In Your E-Zine, Magazine Or Web Site? You can, as long as you include the complete “About Darryl” blurb above with the article.

~ Do you want your kids to stop being knuckleheads?

~ Do you want your kids to be able to leave home and get on with their lives… without needing to suck off of you forever?
~ Do you know that your kids are just not ready for what the real world will throw at them?
~ Are you a bit unclear on just what you should make sure that your kids know before they leave your house?
~ Is graduation just around the corner for your kid?

Well… you should get Darryl’s special report…

Click on the Welcome to Real Life picture at upper right in order to get the special report for FREE!

[A coaching client of mine just asked me this question in response to a breakthrough she had based on some questions I asked her: "Darryl. How do you know these secrets to life? You know more about my motivations than I do!" The answer I gave her: "I am a student of life. I study and absorb the lessons that life constantly teaches." Here's an example.]

Whenever the Winter Olympics roll around, I always have flashbacks to an amazing time in my life. Allow me to share…

Several years ago, I was training at the Olympic Training Center in Colorado Springs, Colorado. During my 6 am work-out I noticed this guy squat-walking around the track with a tire full of sand around his neck. It was obviously very heavy.

Can You Squat-Walk?

I did not know who the guy was or what he did as an athlete. Finally, one day at lunch I happened to be sitting across the table from him. I introduced myself. His name was Eric. I said, “I see you squat-walking every morning. That’s incredible. What sport do you do?” And he said, “I’m a skater, you know, a speed skater.” Eric seemed to be a very unassuming person.

The Conversation That Changed My Life

We were both young guys barely into adulthood. We met a few more times at lunch and one day I asked him, “How’re the Winter Olympics going to be looking for you?” (I was training for the Summer Olympics and did not know much about the Winter Games.) And he said, “I’m doing well. My training is going well.” (By his tone he could just as well have been asking me to pass the salt.) I followed by asking, “How are you going to do?” And he answered, without a trace of ego, hype or arrogance, “I think I’m going to win five gold medals.” I distinctly remember thinking at that time: “5 gold medals! He’s a crazy man!”

Unable to stop myself, I Asked…

I was blown away! But, unable to stop the train of my amazement, I asked “Why?” I wanted him to give me his answer to the question: “Why do you think you will win five gold medals?” His answer changed my life. He said:

“Because I train harder than anyone else in the world.”

I believed him. Anyone out squat-walking with a huge tire full of sand at 6am gets my vote as a hard worker.

I look at his answer as giving himself a rational reason for the irrational belief that he could win five gold medals. Therefore, as long as he continued training harder, he was giving himself permission to believe he could win. (I say his belief was “irrational” because he had never before won an Olympic medal and no skater had ever won all five speed skating events. I mean, c’mon! This is the Olympics we’re talking about here and there were great skaters competing from all manner of countries where skating is king. I now think of his irrationality as “productive insanity.” Go ahead – use the term if you like.)

I also asked him: “What about the competition?” His answer to this question also rocked me. He said:

“The competition is with myself.”

Eric only competed with himself. With his goals. With his physical capacity. The many able “competitors” did not exist in his world.

For those of us who are old enough to remember, Eric Heiden did go on to win five Olympic Gold Medals in the 1980 Winter Olympics. While doing this he set Olympic and world records.

Four big learnings here…

1. Have goals.
2. Prepare to reach your goals.
3. Believe you can reach your goals.
4. Compete with yourself.

Eric linked himself to the outrageous goal of five gold medals. How?

Gold Medals = Working Harder Than Anyone Else = Eric Heiden’s Belief

I want to share with you one other learning I gained from this interaction many years ago. This learning now forms the core of my life and business coaching and the foundation of many of my speeches and workshops. It is this:

Your “WHY” Is More Important Than Your “What.” When your “why” is big enough, motivating enough, and powerful enough — then you are 90% of the way toward “what” you want to accomplish. Why do you want to accomplish your goal? Why will you refuse to stop until you achieve your goal? Why must you achieve your goal? Why? Why? Why? This power is in your answer to “Why?”

I have used what I learned from Eric in all areas of my life – professionally and personally. I make a point of sharing these learnings with all of my life coaching and business-growth coaching clients.

So as you watch the Winter Games, remember that…

When you believe that it’s possible, and give yourself a rational reason to believe it’s possible, and you work like your hair is on fire — then… IT is possible!

Remember – You DO Deserve To Live A Great Life.

Enjoy Life!

Darryl L. Mobley
“America’s Favorite Life and Business-Growth Coach”

About Darryl L. Mobley
Known as the “Bulldog of Work-Life Balance,” Darryl Mobley is a top Life Coach, an in-demand Executive Coach, a Business-Growth Consultant, a Professional Speaker, and host of The Darryl Mobley Show: Your Life Coach On The Radio. For info, visit www.CoachMobley.com. Darryl is also president of the Association of Small Business Marketers. For info, visit www.BusinessGrowthAce.com. © 2010 Darryl L. Mobley